What we are in the dark

We are only what we are in the dark; all the rest is reputation. What God looks at is what we are in the dark—the imaginations of our minds; the thoughts of our heart; the habits of our bodies; these are the things that mark us in God’s sight. The Love of God—The Ministry of the Unnoticed, 669 L

This is from Oswald Chambers, author of My Utmost for His Highest.

1 Samuel 16:7 says "The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

"Baby cause in the dark
you can't see shiny cars
and that's when you need me there
with you I'll always share"
-Umbrella: The-Dream, Christopher Stewart, Kuk Harrell, and Jay-Z (as made famous by Rihanna)

It seems really Gnostic or something to say that all we are is spirit, but that's all we are. I mean we definitely inhabit bodies, but those bodies are not necessarily a reflection of who we are. We didn't choose them. Sometimes I just look in the mirror and cannot believe that is what people see when they look at me. I can't believe how easily this body I live in bruises, and as recently as five minutes ago I discovered something new about my nose that I had literally never noticed before in my two decades plus of seeing this face in reflective surfaces.

I know God sees all, which is to say he sees both outside and inside, but a metaphor to help me understand what he sees is that our exterior is utterly transparent to him. He sees right through all the things that are opaque enough to others to fool them if we want to.

I read something insightful today: "One reason we struggle with insecurity: we’re comparing our behind the scenes to everyone else’s highlight reel.” -Steven Furtick

But God doesn't see anyone as a highlight reel, even if we become deluded enough to see ourselves that way.

I guess I'm writing because this thought is sort of convicting to me. Sloppy thinking is worse than having a messy room. What matters is the kind of housekeeping we do on the inside. Do we let things sit around until they're rotting? Do we let bad ideas run rampant like disobedient children, screaming and breaking things, because we're too lazy to step up, or are we good disciplinarians? Do we forget to plan (metaphor: um, go grocery shopping?) until it's too late and it makes us late for stuff?

The best part of this is that its about as equal opportunity as it gets. We all have a mind, and we all have thoughts and decisions, no matter what we look like and no matter the physical state of our bodies. May we remember to get to know the content of our friends minds and their desires rather than just the way they would be seen by strangers.